Eighteen Years Later
by LeahAnne
Summary: Jack and Juno Payne find out that they are infertile. They decide to adopt a child. Will Juno’s past come back to haunt her? Juno/OOC
1. Doctors

Chapter One: Doctors

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Juno or anything else you recognize.

Summary: Jack and Juno Payne find out that they are infertile. They decide to adopt a child. Will Juno's past come back to haunt her?

--

My name is Juno Payne. I'm 34 years old and married to the greatest guy in the world, Jack. We've been married for two years.

We don't have any kids.

It really sucks because I can tell that he wants a kid sooo bad. I wouldn't mind having one either, really. I mean, I know they're a lot of work and they cry all the time and stuff, but I can't help but wonder what it would have been like had I not given my first one up 18 years ago.

Jack and I moved back to Saint Cloud six months ago because Dad and Bren were getting older and we needed to be with them. I ran into Paulie Bleeker in the grocery store a few weeks back… he's married to Katrina Dvort and they have three kids. I haven't seen Vanessa Loring anywhere and I don't know if she moved away or where the kid is. He'd be 18 years old this week and not a day goes by that I don't think about him.

Jack and I have been trying for a baby for a while, but no luck. He says it's about time that we go see someone and figure out what's wrong with us. I'm anxious about the whole thing and I don't want to. But I can tell that Jack is worried, so I might as well give in. It's not like there's really anything wrong with us, right?

I'm just scared of what we might find out.

--

I hate waiting rooms.

Always have, always will. There's nothing worse than sitting in an impersonal, surgically clean room, waiting for someone to take you into an even more surgically clean room and poke you with needles and draw blood and open your legs and stick some long thing up your vag to examine you. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

Jack squeezes my hand. I look up at him.

"Junebug, don't worry about it… everything's going to be fine."

I peered into his blue eyes. "You don't really believe that, do you?" I countered. "You're the one who wanted to come in here, just to make sure. What if something is really wrong? What if we can't have kids at all?"

Jack sighed.

"I don't know, Juno. I honestly don't know."

I paused. Jack was usually one to fight back, to come up with a reason… any reason to make me feel better. For him to be completely out of answers was a first. It made me feel really insecure. I turned around in my chair and glanced at the door anxiously.

"Payne?" a nurse called, walking out the door.

I got up and looked back at Jack nervously. He followed suit and grabbed my hand and together we followed the nurse to the room.

She took down all of the necessary information, weighed us, and asked us a few more questions before assuring us that the doctor would be in with us soon.

Dr. Jain came into the room about fifteen minutes later.

"You didn't tell me this guy was foreign!" I hissed in Jack's ear.

"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Payne," the doctor said in halted English. I could barely understand him. He kept smiling at me and then at Jack. I wanted to smack him.

"Mrs. Payne, come up on exam table?" he asked.

"Uhh… no thanks. I'd rather have a woman examine my vag, you know? I'm not really into the whole spread 'em wide and peek inside regimen."

Dr. Jain looked at me in confusion.

Jack was trying to conceal his laughter as he spoke. "Honey, Dr. Jain is the best of the best. I think he really does know what he is doing."

"Jack, why don't you ask him to stick that probe up your ass, then?" I said.

Dr. Jain left the room and came back with another doctor. This one was quite noticeably female with blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail. Her name tag said Dr. Vanarsdale.

"Is there a problem I can help you with?" she asked me kindly.

"Yeah," I said. I really don't want some foreign guy I can't understand poke a spec-whatever up my vag. I'd rather have another female do it," I said flatly.

Dr. Vanarsdale's eyes widened a bit before she shook her head.

"Okay, then. Dr. Jain, you can go talk to the patient in Room 413 if you wouldn't mind. She's got a few questions that I couldn't answer."

Dr. Jain nodded.

Dr. Vanarsdale proceeded with the exam. She finished and threw the gloves away and looked back at Jack and me with a sad expression on her face.

"I'm guessing you've figured out what's wrong?" I asked, getting scared.

"I think so," she said. "Mr. and Mrs. Payne, please come into my office."

Jack and I walked into her office and sat down.

"Have you ever heard of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease?" she asked, sitting down at her desk.

"No," I said.

"PID is a disease that can affect any of the female reproductive organs. It's a bacterial infection. Have you had more than one sexual partner, Mrs. Payne?"

"No," I said, getting angry. "Of course not."

"I'm sorry, but I'm trying to figure out where you would have gotten the bacteria from. It is sometimes contracted during abortion or childbirth. Have you had an abortion or do you have any other biological children?"

I looked at Jack. He didn't know about the baby I'd given up for adoption. We'd never discussed it. I looked back at Dr. Vanarsdale.

"I gave a baby up for adoption when I was sixteen," I said. I could feel Jack tense up beside me. I grabbed his hand and he squeezed it.

"Mrs. Payne, judging from the extent of the damage to your reproductive organs, it is highly unlikely that you will ever be able to carry a fetus to term. I would suggest looking into surrogacy or adoption."

Her words hit me like a brick to the face. I had never thought I would be faced with infertility. I figured it would be so easy for Jack and I to have a baby whenever we wanted to, especially since I had already had one.

Jack and I went back out to the car and I sat down in the passenger seat, shocked.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack asked, looking at me hurt. "We've been married for two years and we dated for four years before that and not once did you bring up the fact that you had given a child up for adoption!"

"I tried blocking it out of my mind. Vanessa was so happy to finally have a child after so long and I was only sixteen… I couldn't have taken care of that baby, Jack!"

"So, somewhere out there, you've got an 18-year-old son, and you don't know where he is or anything…" Jack broke off, looking at me.

"He's not mine. He's Vanessa's. I might have carried him for nine months, but I was in no way, shape, or form ready to have a child. I might regret it now, but at the time, it was the best decision for everyone involved."

"So what are we going to do, Juno?" Jack asked, changing the subject. "Do you want to adopt? Do you want to look into surrogacy?"

"Does it matter to you, not having a biological child? Do you want a child of your own or do you just want a child?"

"It doesn't matter to me," Jack said, at last. "I just want to be a dad."

I nodded. "Then let's adopt," I said. "Let's give a kid a home that needs one."

Jack smiled and leaned over and kissed me.

"Okay, then," he said. "Where do you we start?"

"I have an idea," I said, grinning foolishly at him.

_So, I know Juno seems to have lost a little bit of her spunk, but she's a 34-year-old woman now… I didn't see it fitting for her to be running around yelling "home skillet" and stuff._

_Hope you liked it! Please review!_


	2. Newspaper Ads

Chapter Two: Newspaper Ads

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Juno or anything else you recognize.

Summary: Jack and Juno Payne find out that they are infertile. They decide to adopt a child. Will Juno's past come back to haunt her?

--

After Jack and I made the decision to adopt, I knew exactly where I'd go to put an ad. Vanessa and Mark had done it almost nineteen years earlier, so I figured I could do the same thing.

Once we got home, I put my laptop on my lap and began looking for it. I opened up Google and typed in _the Penny Saver_. Sure enough, the website was at the top of the listings. I opened it up, typed in Saint Cloud's zip code and started making an ad. I pulled upan old picture of Jack and me sitting on the couch and cropped it to show our happy, smiling faces. Okay, so maybe we didn't look exactly like the picture of Mark and Vanessa Loring. Oh well. We weren't perfect, and I figured that picture of Jack and me, sitting there laughing on the couch showed that pretty well. Score one point for us.

It took me about half an hour to compose the ad and for it to meet both Jack and I's approval. I submitted the ad and looked over at Jack, who was sitting next to me. The confusion was written all over his face.

"Why the Penny Saver?" he finally asked, puzzled.

I sighed. Of course, he wouldn't understand. I hadn't actually explained it to him. "Because," I explained, "it's the first place I looked when I gave the Kid up for adoption." I also remember my old high school friend, Leah (yes, the one who hit on all the teachers), saying the Penny Saver was the perfect place to find parents. "Desperately Seeking Spawn" are the words she used, I believe. But, I was smart enough not to put that on there... I didn't want to scare anyone away with that notion. Ahaha...

Jack frowned for a second before looking back at me. "If you're sure," he said, his voice betraying his disbelief.

"I'm not sure. I'm completely positive that this is the right thing to do. It feels right," I said.

And it really did feel right. It was like the big man in the sky had arranged it himself. I had a really good feeling and it wasn't going away. I was beyond excited.

--

I figured it would take a couple of months of placing the ad in the Penny Saver for us to get any results. Come to think of it, Vanessa never told me how long it was that she and Mark had put that ad in there before stupid old pregnant me came along and accepted the bait. Then again, I have a feeling that Mark probably put in in there without Vanessa's knowledge or approval. He always was pretty cool about that. There were a lot of cool things about Mark, now that I'm thinking about it. I often wondered what the Kid's life would have been like, had both Mark and Vanessa raised him rather than just Vanessa. I'm sure he was raised with more Baby Einstein and flashcards than any other child known to mankind.

Regardless of the time it took for me to fall pregnant and find Mark and Vanessa's ad, it only took us two weeks to get a phone call. I couldn't believe it. I had thought it was going to take MUCH longer. I answered it with the usual, "Hey, it's Juno. What's up?"

"Hi, this is Jude Cates... umn, I saw your ad in the Penny Saver..."

My eyes widened in shock and I flagged Jack down. He came running.

"Umn... hey, Jude, this is Juno," I said, completely at a loss for words at this awesome, completely momentous occasion. "Well, umn... not that I'm quoting the song or anything, but you know... I say 'hey' when I greet just about everybody." I could have gone back and smacked myself in the face. Who makes fun of someone's name like that? Oh, wait... I didn't know she was going to offer to let us adopt her kid. Oops. My bad.

"Hi... umn... I'm pregnant and I saw your ad in the Penny Saver, and I was wondering whether or not I could give thekid to you guys. I mean, I'm obviously ill-equipped, considering I'm only sixteen. And you guys seem pretty cool and obviously more equipped than I am. So, since you obviously want what I can't have right now... uh... would you take this thing," the girl on the other line said. She reminded me so much of myself already... I mean, I knew I was ill-equipped when I had the Kid. Well, that and her nervousness reminded me a lot of me, too. Gosh, what is it with the kids who look up parents in the Penny Saver? Are we all the same or something?

"Okay," I said calmly. "Umn, why don't you come over at around 4:30 on Friday. Let me give you my address." I started planning things out with Jude on the phone. I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but start to get excited.

"Alright," she said. "Thank you so much."

"No, thank you," I said gratefully.

I sat the phone back in the cradle and looked back at Jack. He had the stupidest, goofiest grin on his face.

"Hells yeah!" I yelled, running over to him and kissing him.

--

Friday couldn't come fast enough. Jack had gone out and found an adoption lawyer a few days after we decided to adopt. She had been on the look-out for prospective birth parents. When he told her that a girl had called us, saying she was pregnant, she was completely shocked. She cleared her Friday afternoon appointment for us and was there before Jude Cates even showed up.

Wanda Francis was the oldest lady I had seen in a very long time. She looked like she could just keel over and kick the bucket at any moment. But then again, I trusted Jack to pick a good lawyer for the adoption.

The doorbell rang and Jack rushed to the door in excitement.

"Hi, Jude," he said, grinning. I peered through the hall to see a teenage girl standing in the doorway. "And you must be Mrs. Cates," Jack said, looking at the woman behind her.

"Umn, not exactly. I'm Vanessa Loring, the baby's grandmother. And this is my charming, yet irresponsible son, Ben," the lady said, smiling at Jack. I about shit my pants.

* * *

_Thanks for reading. Please review!!_

_And for those of you who have read my Instant Star fanfiction, I just used Jude's name because it was very unique. This is not the same Jude and this is not a cross-over story. Thanks, much!_


	3. The Kid

Chapter Three: The Kid

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Juno or anything else you recognize.

Summary: Jack and Juno Payne find out that they are infertile. They decide to adopt a child. Will Juno's past come back to haunt her?

--

I sat on the couch in shock. Seeing Vanessa Loring walk into the house and over to the couch was like seeing a vision from the past. She hadn't changed a bit. The same bright smile, perfect hair, perfect clothes... I suspected she had probably undergone some plastic surgery, too... because no fifty-year-old woman had flawless skin like that.

Vanessa sat on the couch and looked at me in shock.

"Juno?" she asked, gasping.

I nodded, completely stunned. What was the likelihood of Vanessa Loring showing up with the Kid and his girlfriend, offering me their kid for adoption? Like one in ten zillion??

My eyes flashed over to the Kid. She had said his name was Ben. He looked so much like me... it was scary. Except for he definitely had Bleeker's cheeks and nose. Oh, and he definitely inherited Bleeker's tallness factor. And unlike Bleeker's three kids, he didn't have the squinty-eyed factor or smell like soup. Victory on my part, I guess. I shot up and smiled at them before grabbing Jack.

"We'll be right back!" I said cheerfully before dragging Jack down the hallway to the kitchen.

"What is going on?" Jack asked, searching my eyes for an answer.

"Did you not see that kid?" I asked quickly.

"The girl?" Jack asked. "Yeah, she seems pretty normal to me."

"No!" I snapped, exasperatedly. "The boy! That's him! That's the Kid! That's _the_ Vanessa Loring."

"You mean, the baby's father is your son?" Jack asked, looking like a pan had just hit him in the back of the head.

"Yes," I said, trying to hold back tears. I couldn't cry now. I just couldn't. I had to go back in there with a straight face. I wasn't going to be a wimp.

"Does he know he's adopted?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," I replied. "I'm just going to go back in there, pretending everything's just peachy and normal. Way to go for the Kid to follow in my charming, yet irresponsible footsteps, huh?"

Jack suppressed a grin.

"Alright, let's go back in there and pretend everything's okay," Jack said, squeezing my hand.

We headed back into the sitting room.

"Sorry about that," Jack said, holding my hand. "Hi, I'm Jack Payne and this is my wife, Juno. And this is our lawyer, Wanda Francis. She's drawn up the first few papers that we'll need."

"Hi," the girl said. _What was her name again? Oh, Jude. Yeah. Like the song._

"So, Miss Cates. How far along are you in your pregnancy?" Wanda asked Jude.

I finally got a good look at the girl for the first time. She had light auburn hair and really pretty green eyes. She was short, too. She was probably as tall as me. She looked like she would have been skinny, too, except for the belly. It wasn't really big yet, though.

"I'm 20 weeks," Jude answered.

"Do you know the sex of the baby?" Jack asked her.

"No," she answered. "I figured I'd let it be a surprise."

"That's what I did," I said, smiling at her.

"You had a kid? I thought the two of you didn't have any kids?" she asked me, frowning.

"Well, it was really messed up," I said. "I was in your position when I was sixteen. I gave a baby up for adoption. Then, I found out I couldn't have anymore kids."

Jude's eyes widened.

"Do you regret it?" she asked, placing one hand on her belly.

"No," I said, daring to look at Ben, sitting on the couch, holding Jude's hand. "There was no way I could have raised a kid at that age. I think I did what was best for him by giving him a family that could take care of him."

"Okay, then," Vanessa said sharply. She looked at me, a worried expression on her face. I understood. Vanessa hadn't told him he was adopted. I backed off.

"When is the baby due?" Jack asked her.

"November 16th," Jude said, looking at Ben.

"How do your parents feel about the adoption?" I asked her.

"My parents don't even know I'm pregnant," Jude said, looking down at her belly.

"How do they not know?" I asked. "You're five months pregnant and obviously showing..."

"Jude's parents aren't exactly the most supportive of people," Vanessa explained. "They kicked her out of the house when she turned seventeen. She's been living with me ever since. She found out she was pregnant while she was living with me and she will continue to live with me until she finishes her senior year of high school. As to whether or not the baby was conceived in my house is another thing I'm unsure of," Vanessa said, looking at Ben in disappointment.

"How do you feel about the adoption?" Jack asked Vanessa.

"I think it's the best thing to do. By the time this baby turns eighteen, I'll be 68 years old, and there is no way I'm raising a kid when I'm ready to retire." She smiled at me.

I nodded in understanding.

"Are you looking for an open or a closed adoption?" Wanda asked Jude.

"It doesn't really matter to me. I mean, honestly, the most important thing is that this kid gets two parents who love it and can give it everything I can't. I mean, I wouldn't say no to being a part of the kid's life, but I don't want to be known as the kid's mom. If you want to tell it when it's older that it's adopted, then that's fine, but I don't want it to come looking at me like I'm supposed to do something... take care of it, you know. That's why I'm giving it to you guys in the first place."

"I understand," I said truthfully. "You're welcome to be in the baby's life as much as you want to. We'd even be willing to make you an honorary aunt or something."

Jude smiled. "I'd like that."

"Do you have any plans for after the baby is born?" Jack asked her.

"I definitely want to go to college... probably Saint Cloud University. I want to be a doctor," she said, smiling.

"Cool beans!" I said. "That's totally awesome."

Everyone kind of looked at me a bit strangely.

"My wife is a bit quirky," Jack said, smiling at me. "She's not your average 34-year-old."

"Thanks for telling the age, man," I said, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Jude smiled at us.

"I really like you guys," she said. "Ben, I think this is who I want to give the baby to."

Ben nodded, holding her hand.

"You guys really do seem like awesome people," he said, looking at me. Our eyes locked for a second, and I just wondered if he really looked hard enough, he could see the resemblance between us.

"Juno, could I speak to you privately for a second?" Vanessa asked kindly.

"Sure," I said, gesturing back toward the kitchen.

* * *

_Thanks for reading, please review!!_

_Does anyone have a particular sex in mind for the baby? I haven't really decided yet. Go ahead and vote in your review._


	4. Revelations

Chapter Four: Revelations

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Juno or anything else you recognize.

Summary: Jack and Juno Payne find out that they are infertile. They decide to adopt a child. Will Juno's past come back to haunt her?

--

I led Vanessa into the kitchen and was sat down on the bar stools beside the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"It's great to see you again," Vanessa said, smiling.

"I could say the same," I said, looking back at her before looking back at the tile on the counter. "What does he know?"

Vanessa looked back toward the sitting room to make sure no one was coming.

"He doesn't know that he's adopted. I never told him," she said, staring at her hands in her lap.

"He never asked who his father was?" I asked disbelievingly.

"He did. I always told him that his father wasn't around and wasn't part of the family. I told him that I didn't know where his father was," Vanessa said, refusing to look up at me.

"Why did you tell him that? Paulie has lived in Saint Cloud for the last eighteen years, even if I haven't," I exclaimed. "I sent letters... what did you do with them all?" I asked her.

"I put them away. I couldn't tell that little boy that I wasn't his mother," she murmured.

"You are his mother in every way that counts. That's what I always told myself. But I always figured that you'd at least tell him... and now, he's here, giving his kid to me and I'm supposed to act like everything's hunky dory and that he's a complete stranger. Vanessa, I can't _do that!_"

Vanessa paused before she looked back at me. "I know. I can't believe how hard this has to be for you. I should have talked them into choosing another couple. But they looked into the Penny Saver and Ben came home from school, saying that he and Jude had found you two. I figured it was fate or something."

I nodded. "I'm glad you didn't talk them out of it," I said quietly.

We were quiet for a second before I looked up at Vanessa again. "So, what kind of kid is Ben anyways?" I asked her.

"He's always been a very interesting boy," Vanessa said. "Never fails to amaze me. I think he gets it from his mother," she laughed.

"Yeah, maybe," I said, still feeling rather uncomfortable.

"He's quirky. He's always had a way of his own. He was always a loner in school... had one or two close friends, but was never incredibly popular. He was always impeccably dressed, too. He even plays soccer. He loves to run."

I smiled to myself. _Just like Bleeker._

Vanessa opened up her purse and pulled out her billfold. She pulled out a wallet-sized photograph, and handed it to me.

"For you," she said.

I took it from her and smiled. On the back was written Benjamin Mark Loring, 17 years old. The picture was a school photograph of him, smiling brightly at the camera. Something I had never done. When I was in school, it was always a quick half-smile and then hurrying out of the way. Staring at the picture, I felt a gaping hole in my heart. Kinda like something had been taken from me and there wasn't a way to get it back.

"He looks so much like me, doesn't he?" I looked up, asking Vanessa. I searched her eyes and she nodded.

"He does. I think he saw himself in you... and I think that's what brought us here. I'm planning on telling him soon... he's 18. I just don't know how to bring it up," Vanessa said sadly.

"Bring what up?" a voice asked behind us. We turned around and Ben was standing right behind us. Vanessa's face grew white and I felt uncomfortable. I couldn't look at his face.

"Nothing," Vanessa said. "It's just legal stuff."

"Mom, it didn't sound like legal stuff. It sounded like something more personal. What's going on? How do you two know each other?" Ben looked back and forth from Vanessa to me, looking for an answer.

_Very smart kid_, I thought.

"Juno and I are old friends. We've known each other for a very long time," Vanessa said. She was skirting the issue BIG TIME.

"You're planning on telling me anyways, Mom! So go ahead and tell me now. I can take it. I promise," Ben said seriously.

"Not here," Vanessa said shortly.

"Why not here?" Ben asked, getting frustrated. "I mean, it's not like it's some huge revelation, is it? Like I'm adopted or she's my long-lost sister?" He nodded in my direction. I immediately walked over to the kitchen sink to hide my face before I gave something away. "So go ahead and just tell me what it is."

Vanessa was silent.

"Mom!" Ben said, raising his voice.

"Benjamin, you are being disrespectful. This is not our home and I will not have you talk to me like this," Vanessa said evenly.

"Something is going on. Mrs. Payne, you know... I know you do. I'm not stupid. Please, just look at me?" he asked me. I forced myself to turn around and the tears blurred my vision.

"I can't," I told him. "I just can't."

"Fine," Ben said. "We're leaving. Thank you very much for your time, but we're going to look for another family to adopt our baby."

I felt like someone had just turned around and punched me in the gut. I looked at Vanessa helplessly.

_Please_, I mouthed to her and flashed a glance in Ben's direction.

"Benjamin, sit down," Vanessa said, pulling a bar stool back from the kitchen island.

"No, Mother. Jude and I are leaving."

"Benjamin Mark Loring. Sit down. NOW," Vanessa growled.

Ben turned back around and sat down.

"Now," she said, after he had taken a seat. "I want you to be quiet and don't say anything until I finish."

Ben nodded. I sat down next to Vanessa.

"Juno, do you still have a copy of that first letter you ever wrote?" she asked me.

I nodded. "It's in the wooden box on the mantle," I said. "Let me go get it." I walked over to the kitchen fireplace and brought the box over to the table. I started rummaging through it. It wasn't long before I found what I was looking for.

It was yellow envelope, worn with age. The ink was stained a dark brown. It was simply labeled _To Baby Bleeker-Loring_ in my 16-year-old handwriting. I had sealed it after I had come home from the hospital after having my baby and I had never opened it again. One copy I sent to Vanessa. The other, I had stored away for I handed it to Ben.

"Who is Baby Bleeker-Loring?" he asked.

Vanessa looked back at him. She looked at the countertop's surface and didn't say anything for a bit.

"Mom?" Ben asked softly.

Vanessa looked back up at him.

"Ben, you're adopted."

He reeled backward in shock.

"You must be joking. I'm not adopted... I'm not! You've got pictures of me in the hospital and stuff and when you brought me home..." He looked at Vanessa who was trying to hold back tears. Her bottom lip quivered.

"You're not joking..." he said, stunned. "But how do you know about this? What do you have to do with it?" he asked me, obviously hurt and confused.

"Ben, I'm your biological mother," I said quietly.

* * *

Wow, this new login screen has me beyond confused. It took me forever to find everything!! :/

Thanks for the reviews!! Sorry this chapter was so late... I've been really busy with school stuff... College is hard! lol!

Please review!! Constructive criticism is always accepted. :)


	5. The Truth

Chapter Five: The Truth

* * *

Ben just stared at me in shock. His eyes slowly made their way back to the envelope in his hands. He flipped it over and opened it, pulling out the paper yellowed with age. He unfolded the paper and began reading.

"Ben, I want you to know that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. You are so special to me. I just wanted to give you a better life. I found Vanessa in the Penny Saver and I knew she would have been able to give you more than I ever would have been able to. I just wanted to give you the best life I could, even if that meant that I couldn't raise you myself," I tried to explain.

"Then, Jack? He's not my dad?" Ben asked after finishing the letter.

"No. My high school boyfriend Paulie is. He's married and has three kids with his wife. Two girls and a boy. They all smell like soup and have a weird squinty-eyed expression on their faces… just like their mother. Be glad I gave birth to you and not Katrina."

Ben tried to hide his laughter, but without much success.

"Why can't you have anymore kids?" he asked. "Just me?"

"It's called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. After I had you, they left some gunk in me and it fucked up most of my reproductive organs. I didn't find out until Jack and I had been going at it for a while. We went to one of those fertility people and they told us that we wouldn't be able to have any children and that if I did get pregnant, I would never be able to carry another kid to term. Everything in there's just royally screwed up. I understand if you and Jude want to give someone else your baby… if me being the kid's biological grandmother is too weird and all."

"No… better you than some stranger raise it, I guess," Ben said. He paused. "What do I call you?" His face contorted into a look of confusion. "I mean, she's my mom… well, adoptive mom. And you're my mom, too. Just my biological mom. You didn't raise me."

"You can just call me Juno. That's just fine with me," I said. "I didn't raise you, you're right. I think you should save the term 'Mom' for the one who really did all the work." I grinned at Vanessa. "Seems she did a pretty good job, from what I can see."

"Yeah, yeah, she did," Ben said quietly. His soft voice painstakingly reminded me of Paulie.

"But if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask, kid," I said. "I still love you, and I haven't gone a day without thinking about you since I gave you up eighteen years ago."

Ben smiled.

"Thanks, Juno," he said.

"Well, Ben," Vanessa broke in. "I hate to break this up, but we should probably get going. We need to take Jude to her doctor's appointment."

"Well, Jack and Wanda and Jude probably have the majority of the paperwork done anyways, at least for now," I said. "Thank you SO much." I paused for a second and wrote my cell phone number on a pad of paper and ripped it off, handing it to Ben. "Here's my cell phone number. It's not the one you've already got… that's our home phone. If you ever need anything at all, just let us know, okay?"

"Alright," Ben said. "Thank you, Juno." He came over and shook my hand awkwardly and headed into the other room.

"Boys," Vanessa said, smiling that same bright smile. She shook her head. "We'll call you, okay? Let you know how the visit went… she's going in for her anatomy scan today, so it should be pretty exciting. Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"I don't care. Whatever Jude wants. If she wants to know, then she can find out and tell me. If she wants to keep it a surprise, that's fine, too."

Vanessa smiled kindly.

"I never thought I'd be on the other side of this… it makes me realize how hard it was for you to give him up," she said.

"Hey, no mushy stuff. I don't regret it for an instant. I did the right thing."

Jude looked back and forth between the two of us. A frown creased her brow. "Did I miss something?" she asked.

"I'll explain when we get out to the car," Ben said, taking her hand. I smiled at them.

"How sure do you think you are?" I heard myself ask. "Would you say you're 50% sure? 60% sure?"

Jude smiled. "I'd say I'm about 104% sure. I like you guys," she said.

Vanessa hurried both Ben and Jude back out to the van and Jack shut the door after them. He smiled at me.

"See," he said. "Everything is going to go just fine."

I sighed. "I hope you're right."

A few weeks passed.

Vanessa called me periodically to let me how everything was going. I talked to Jude a few times, too. She seemed like a really cool chick. I liked her.

One day in late February, I heard a knock on the door. I opened it in curiosity. It was Jude.

"Hey, Juno. Just thought I'd stop in and see what you were up to. Ben dropped me off," she said. "I hope you're not busy."

"Not at all," I said, a bit confused. "I was just about to head out to the mall to pick up some stuff for the baby. Do you want to come with me?" I asked her.

"I guess," she said. "Are you sure you want me to come?"

"Of course! Yeah! Duh," I said, grabbing her hand. I grabbed my jacket and threw it on and headed back out the front door. I unlocked the doors to the Jeep and we got in.

"We don't know if the baby's a boy or girl, so how do you know how you want to decorate the nursery?" Jude asked me suddenly.

"Well," I said, thinking. "We've decided to paint the nursery kind of a lighter green color. And we've decided that we want to do zebra stripes. So, lots of black and white zebra stripes and then green accents."

Jude's jaw dropped. "That is totally awesome," she said. "Way cool."

"I'm glad you approve," I said, grinning. "This is going to be so much fun."

Jude nodded. "Yeah."

We stopped by Ashley's Furniture Store near the mall and picked up a really nice black crib and nightstand and a matching black changing table. The salesperson helped us put it the back of the Jeep. We headed back to the house and dropped it off and then came back to the mall a couple of hours later.

"Alright," I said. "Zebra fabric. And I mean lots of it."

Jude laughed.

"What?" I asked, looking at her.

"You're a woman on a mission!" she said. "I now know where Ben gets it."

"Ben gets what?" I asked her, as we started walking to a fabric store in the mall.

"He's not like Vanessa. Vanessa is very… strict, I guess. Ben's more laidback. He takes things as they come, but he won't let you run over him, either. He's not a Nazi about it by any means, but he's just… Ben. He gets moving on his own terms, and only his own terms. I get that same kinda vibe around you."

I couldn't help but grin. "Aw, shucks," I said. "You're gonna make me get all emo now."

"Slash your wrists and black your eyes?" Jude asked, putting her hands on her belly protectively. "I don't know if I want my kid with a suicidal woman, now…" she trailed off, laughing.

"Hey, I'm not suicidal."

She looked at me.

"Well, I'm not!" I exclaimed.

"Okay," Jude said, rolling her eyes.

We found our way to this little hole-in-the-wall fabric store near the back side of the mall. It was one of my favorite places in the world, and definitely in that big old mall. Fabric was strewn everywhere. It was like trying to find something in a scavenger hunt. We started searching for zebra fabric.

After searching for a good half hour, I found some. Okay, not just some. A lot. Four whole 5x20 yard skeins of zebra-fleece goodness. I was in heaven. I cleared the store of their fleecy zebra fabric and picked up a few skeins of light green fleece on the way out.

"So are you hand-making all of the nursery stuff? The bed stuff and curtains?" Jude asked.

"Yeah," I said. "It's not like you're doing all the work. You grow the baby and I sew stuff. Sound like an even trade-off?" I asked her.

Jude laughed.

"I guess so," she said.

We headed back to the Jeep. On the way home, I dropped Jude back by her house. I couldn't help but smile to myself. What a great day.

* * *

_Sorry for the long wait._

_I just really don't feel like doing this story right now. I had this half done so I kind of half-heartedly finished this chapter._

_Review?_

_Maybe it'll get me out of the slump I've been in lately.  
_


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